My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste." My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.I have a joke about trickle down economics.I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. Today I decided to go visit my childhood home.I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough. What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 mph? Its butt.If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be alive. It's important to have a good vocabulary."Just say NO to drugs!" Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.Why was the leper hockey game canceled? There was a face off in the corner.Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says. "I work with animals," the guy says to his date.What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey. It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.I'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died.Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them. Never break someone's heart, they only have one.The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.For instance, when you push them down the stairs. Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face.
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If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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Then the antidote becomes the most important. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about.When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug."I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue." "You can't cut me down," the tree complains. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
Twisted insane bio skin#
The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash.Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset.I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.Want to find out if you're also a happy-go-lucky genius? Take a look at these 75 hilarious dark jokes, and if you catch yourself guffawing despite the gruesome subject matter, you may just be the kindest, most intelligent person you know.